"What I eat is healthy but the amount I eat could bring down an elephant."
As anyone who has dined with me can testify, the above is true of my diet. So far this week, since Sunday, I have eaten: half a sweetheart cabbage, 3 carrots, about half a pound of French beans, 3 shallots, a little gem lettuce, some spring onions and new potatoes, pita bread, a bag of Lightly Salted Kettle Chips, croissants, coffee, wine and cigarettes. You may ask why I am compiling such a detailed list of my victuals – I don’t know why. I’ve been keeping a food diary for weeks now and it’s compelling stuff, done out of a mixture of morbid fascination to see exactly what and how much I am consuming and to track exactly where my tiny salary is going. Frighteningly, I once had mashed potatoes everyday (and it wasn’t a small amount each time) for two weeks. And I managed to work my way through two pounds of minced beef in ten days, all by myself, because it was buy one get one free. Oh, the shame of it. The meaty, meaty shame of it.
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