Thursday, January 27, 2005

"Friday the 13th? That's so romantic!"
That's one more wedding to put in my diary and I'd like to point out that I saw this one coming a mile away. If he wasn't going to ask her, and she was too cautious to do it, I would have rolled up my sleeves and forced one of them (doesn't matter which one...) down on one knee eventually. Because they need to be married, being that kind of couple - so in loooove, etc.

Like the three witches in Macbeth, our trio had been plotting since before Christmas where and when to meet and it being slightly too cold at the moment for the traditional gathering around a cauldron of rancid chardonnay on a blasted but trendy bohemian heath, we met in the Spitz instead and caught up on each other's really quite tremendous news. I am VERY happy for the lovely couple and not a little jealous that in the short period between Christmas Day when the question was asked and our Monday night dinner only a month later, they already have a date, the church booked and a party already in planning.

... we talked and talked and were girls and ate salad and drank white wine and went pink and giggled when the waiter tried to flirt with us, admired one another's hats on the way back to the station and had big girlie hugs on the platform...

... then I almost caused a fight on the tube on the way home: I was sitting opposite a young and angry-looking drunk with two neat and tidy businessmen chatting animatedly together to my right. One of the businessmen gestured in my direction - not at me, but in my direction - and the young drunk lunged forward, furious, and shouted at them. "Don't point at her! Thassrude! Thassrude to point at her! She's a nice girl! You shouldn't point at a nice girl like her!" The three of us, sitting in a row opposite the young drunk, all stared back at him blankly and our open-mouthed reflection in the window made an amusing picture until we pulled into the next station and I hurriedly leapt off to change lines. The man who was sitting on my left and who I hadn't paid attention to so far kept pace with me as I headed towards the other platform and he plucked at my elbow and said, laughing:

"You're face is causing trouble!"
I laughed with him.
"It always does!" I replied and jumped on my train and felt strangely pleased with myself all the way home.

Then I lurched into the flat and demanded food. Then I watched Newsnight. And oh, how my high spirits drooped. More on that later. But what a nice evening, with such nice girls. The world is a nice place, isn't it? It's just... nice. Tell me what you think is nice in the comments below: extra points for the unexpected, unlikely and the most revelatory about yourself.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

"off to buy a baguette on my rollerblades (joke)"
A selection of sentences from my email inbox, just because.

I’m about to run naked through Hammersmith with a plate of bacon and eggs strapped to my head.

The only time I've got a rush from Derrida was after standing up too quickly when I got cramp.

Nothing wrong with lengthy e-mails.

I promise not to be too shit-faced when we meet. I'm still recovering from Sunday's Last Stand at Point Porcelain Pony and will take things slowly.

hey, I can make a rule AND break it...

What is a skidoo?

I bet the Queen Mother would have been the type to hog the superslide at the swimming pool. I can just see her now, swaying and swearing at the very top of the steps, gin and tonic in one hand, a drenched copy of Racing Post in the other while all the little kiddies huddle in their bathing suits, plotting how and when to shove her down the flume and be done with it.

- tempted by munching some stranger's penis by accident one lunchtime.

*every* goddam picture has feckin' red eye.

>gah. 11am and I've only managed to have a coffee, have a fag, read G2 and piss about online.

*gulp* Please don't let him be ugly... pleeeeeeeeease...

Megatron was preyed upon by a gigantic Transformer who turned into a planet (of all things!), and offered to give Megatron a serious MOT and extra mufflers if he would become it's servant in destroying all and sundry. So, it seems that a Transformer with a weight and size problem (who didn't change into something conventional & cool) became socially ill and wanted to kill everyone else who wouldn't be seen alive with him on a Friday night after a hard week of transforming.

you might get even more groped if you were by yourself....

Bored, now I'm back in the office after a morning of gentle sabotage at the BBC. Bored. Bored. Bored.

once again I am leaving London.

Monday, January 17, 2005

"24 Hours: Carbon monoxide will be eliminated from the body. Lungs start to clear out mucus and other smoking debris.
48 Hours: There is no nicotine left in the body. Ability to taste and smell is greatly improved."
It's been 17 days since my last cigarette. I haven't missed the actual cigarettes but I do miss the ritual around it; I sometimes pause when I'm at my desk and think:"Something's missing. Something's gone from my day," and it will niggle at me like a paper cut for a while. Sometimes I'll pass my regular newsagents and think "I should pick up some cigarettes before I get on the tube / go to the office / turn the corner to go home," and realise I can't do that anymore. I don't need to. I no longer smoke. I'm a non-smoker.

It was strange at first, I felt like I was a different person because I no longer smoked - for so long now, there's only been one Hypatia and she always had a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and could always be relied upon to be in the darkest corner of the bar, talking the loudest and being the most extravagant with her hand gestures, scattering ash and spreading smoke everywhere. I sit in the cleaner and better lit parts of pubs now, and really dislike having smokers near me when I'm eating. Only 17 days and I'm suddenly precious about my lungs and tastebuds and sense of smell, after 8 years of recklessly abusing them. It's good to know what happens when you quit smoking - I'm amazed at how quick the nicotine leaves the body, and I'm ashamed that it has taken me this long to do it. Incidentally, it's been cold turkey all the way - no gum, no patches, no sugar free mints. I just stopped.

It's a new adventure - and I'm facing it with a window seat in the non-smoking section. Go, Hypatia, go!

Congratulations, exclamations of horror and / or encouragement in the comments below, thankyouverymuch.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Sister: "I'll be in the countryside for Christmas, ten adults and four kids alone with four dogs, two cats, two guinea pigs, lots of chickens and lots of ducks..."
Cousin: "What?! You can't eat all of that!"
Oh. I love being Chinese.

Look! I have changed my blog template! It no longer changes colour! It no longer (hopefully) crashes your PC! It's all spots and dots! I've lost all my comments from the old template but I'm not being downcast - I think this is a key opportunity for everyone to leave new comments! Enough exclamation marks - but I'm pleased with the change which I have been considering in secret for the last few months and am enjoying the previous posts directory on the left.

I'm feeling buoyant with this latest news about aid for Asia post-tsunami:

"In the space of a week the UN has received promises of money from more than 45 countries - as well as the World Bank, the Asian Development Bank, and the EU - which amount to more than the total pledged for all other humanitarian appeals in 2004 combined, Jan Egeland, the UN emergency relief coordinator, told journalists."

Of course, this is only money pledged and yet to appear; I doubt the actual amount paid over will be nearly as high as that promised. I'm also concerned that aid for tsunami relief will deny other people and countries who need aid, as governments will move funds around to meet the amounts promised...but it's promising that so many people are so keen to help and though I'm upset by the scale of the disaster, I'm simultaneously uplifted by the scale of the compassion and generosity of so many people out there. I was pleased before the tsunami struck to hear that goats were so popular as Christmas presents this year. The kindness of strangers still has the capacity to surprise me.

In other news, I've made several resolutions for 2005:

1. Quit smoking. 3 days without so far and I'm not climbing the walls. Yet.
2. Watch The Exorcist. Have avoided it so far; will attempt it this year.
3. Cook lentils. As above.
4. Start and finish my play.
5. Go abroad.

There are others but I'm not discussing those here.

How are you?