Recipes That Should Have Your Children Taken By The Authorities #2 - Cheese Curry
1 oz. butter
1 onion (chopped)
1 oz. flour
1-2 rounded teaspoons curry powder
half pint stock or water
1 oz. sultanas
8 oz. cubed Cheddar cheese
4 oz. rice
1 sliced hard-boiled egg
Melt the butter in a saucepan and fry the onion to a golden brown. Add the flour and curry powder and stir over a gentle heat. Add the stock gradually, stirring thoroughly until the sauce thickens. Fold in sultanas and cheese. Cook rice in boiling salted until just soft. Drain and dry. Garnish curry with egg and serve with rice.
I was speechless when I first saw this recipe. I honestly thought I had read it incorrectly but no, it really is a recipe for cheese curry in the unbelievably awful The Great Big New Book of Cheese Recipes which Taxloss so lovingly presented to me as a surprise gift recently. It's not that big - about the size of a CD case. The recipes though disgusting and disturbing, aren't that new (pages 46 - 60 are devoted to variations of cheese on toast.)
A cheese cookbook could be a useful thing to have if it doubles as a guide to the thousands of different cheeses out there: what wines to accompany, how best to cook and store the various types, where to find the best etc.
This book only acknowledges one type of cheese for fuck's sake - cheddar. And it's always grated, in every nasty, stomach-churning recipe.
The preface to the book proselytizes cheese with and in everything:
Say cheese louder and in more exciting ways. Have cheese, have friends, have fun.
And have a bucket to hand to catch the vomit.