Friday, January 03, 2003

"...Did you let his hairy man globes trail over your quivering girlish thighs? Did he pour his special man-milk all over you in your mutual passion?"
Well, I'm back online at last. The countryside was very nice (very wet and cold too but apparently that's... natural) and after a week in our adorable little cottage, I feel very rested and refreshed. We walked alot, investigated strange bloated dead animals on the roadside, had meals together like a family, played card games, board games, watched Withnail and Ias city-dwellers are obliged to do when they find themselves in the woods, got caught in the rain and had a party for New Year's Eve. And at this party, we had...

Guests who came to see us especially. Aw. We love you guys.

An endless stream of freshly made potato wedges and dip (courtesy of me and my innate clucky Chinese mother genes, "You all gotta eat! Eat!")

Flashing boobies at the fireworks over Reading across the fields at midnight

Jammed phone networks, inevitably.

Photos of certain people sprawled across certain cars in our drive. Did he park it in the right driveway, darling? Did you give his gearstick a good wiggle?

Unexpected and unsavoury couplings in the living room which have spawned an endless stream of soft-porn commentary.

An endless stream of tears in the kitchen and several hallways as is obligatory on New Year's Eve.

An endless stream of vomit (from me sometime in the morning. "Potato wedges will soak up the worst of the alcohol! You'll feel better for eating something!" Oh, really?)

A sharpened leek stored in the freezer to be used as a murder weapon later (no, I didn't get that one either)

An endless stream of taxis taking people away in the morning, into the start of 2003.

It was grand. But it's good to be back. Pictures to come. ::evil, evil plans of blackmail and mockery brewing:: Muahahahahah!

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