Taxloss: What's wrong with you? What are you watching?
Me: (Through gritted teeth) It's this godawful review show, they're talking about this shitty new Spielberg film, The Terminal. Why, WHY is he making a gentle rom-com out of what is a truly awful situation a real man once found himself in - there are issues about asylum-seeking, the US attidtude towards refugees, the useless, frustrating bureaucracy displaced people face - and he casts Tom fucking Hanks who is more American than... America to put on a stupid, patronising, embarassing "foreign" accent and makes him get his leg over with Catherine Zeta Jones! An American air stewardess! Who isn't actually American! Grrrrr!
Taxloss: Calm down!
Me: I can't! I'm so angry! I'm going to turn green and all my clothes will fall off!
Taxloss: (incredulous stare, baffled silence)
Me: You know. Like the Hulk.
I was making a chick pea and spinach stew. I asked future husband to taste it and he clumsily dropped two chick peas onto the living room carpet, where they rolled off. We found one, but the other proved more elusive.
Taxloss: I can't see it.
Me: [bemused at the state of affairs]You know, we're looking for a chick pea.
Taxloss:[faux-panicked] I CAN'T FIND A PULSE!
Some bits of conversation from the living room and kitchen, just because.