Monday, June 20, 2005

"Make Bono History!"

Calling all those sick of the charidee concert mania the developed world seems to be obsessed by at the moment: let’s raise awareness for those who are sick of the charidee concert mania the developed world seems to be obsessed by at the moment!

I propose we put on a concert and sell lots of wristbands to show just how pissed off we all are with the bombast and shallows of the premise and the totally useless bits of environment destroying tat that are proliferating our otherwise quietly concerned community. At the very least, we need to express our horror and outrage regarding the threat of a Spice Girls reunion – how dare the apparently well-intentioned put such fear into our manufactured pop despising demographic!

Okay, we need:
- a venue that is sponsored by a completely uninterested economy-raping global corporation
- a DJ from a deeply uninteresting, deeply irritating commercial radio station
- one or two shouty Irish guys (preferably unwashed and / or washed up)
- two or three cocksucking brain dead gameshow winners who have released a few sink-to-the-bottom-of the-charts-yet-somehow-on-all-the-playlists singles (blonde and female or non-threatening gay male)
- a dozen bands who somehow have made it big by peddling the shite they performed in the sixth form common room as “conscientious rock” and who shallow people listen to in order to feel deep and meaningful

Sigh. I have so much impotent rage at the moment. I think I’ll quit my job to design and make wristbands to help all the little brown children who don’t have shoes or CD players to play my latest shitty album. Yes, won’t that make everyone feel better?

1 comment:

prandial said...

Don't forget: everyone time a celebrity clicks their fingers, a child in the third world dies. Chop off their hands! Now!